Domestic Abuse is any behaviour of which the purpose is to gain power and control over a spouse, partner, girlfriend or family member. It is not only women and children who are victims of domestic violence but men too can also experience some form of physical, verbal and emotional abuse that can make them struggle with upsetting emotions, or feel depressed and unable to trust anyone again. It happens to all men irrespective of their age, culture or occupation. Most men who find themselves in such cases may be reluctant to talk to the police or certified health professional about their victimization. This is due to the fear of being ridiculed, mocked, or disbelieved by these authorities. Sometimes the abused men will be regarded with suspicion or laughter by the right authorities that should be helping them.
Different things an Abusive Partner does may include
1) Punch, kick, bite, slap, or choke you just to make you have fear of them.
2) Prevent you from seeing your kids if you want to leave or threaten to leave with the kids if you report the abuse to the police.
3) Humiliate you in front of your friends and colleagues and also find ways to isolate you from anyone you could turn to for help. They can also verbally abuse you in front of your family just to prove how weak you are to them.
4) Use a weapon such as a gun or a knife to strike knowingly or unknowingly, sometimes you.
5) Seize your car keys, medications, and also try to control who you visit, talk to on phone, visit or see.
6) Act possessive or jealous and always accuses you of being unfaithful.
As an abused man, you may face a lot of challenges, shortage resources, lack of understanding from friends, family and even legal obstacles especially when trying to gain custody of your children from a violent abusive mother but you can escape the violence and abuse. Don't let it weigh you down or overwhelm you.
How To Deal With An Abusive Relationship Opening up about your abusive marriage or seeking help doesn't mean you have failed as a man or husband. Don't see yourself as a weak person. You can do the following tips when dealing with an abusive partner. 1)Leave if possible when your partner shows signs of attacking you or have a violent response from your partner. If you can't do so immediately because of your children who you need to protect, call emergency services or the police to protect you. 2) No matter how your abusive partner may try to provoke you into retaliating, don't hit back or use words that will put you at risk of being arrested or removed from your home. 3) Report all incidents to the police and get a copy of each police report, Always make sure there is a witness too and include photographic records of your injury. Your doctor or hospital should always give a medical report of your injuries. 4)Make sure your passport, mobile phone, drivers license be and other important be documents are properly packed in case you need to leave the house during any impending attacks.
5) Get legal aid, advice, and help to grant an order of protection against your partner or if necessary, seek temporary custody of your children. Life After Domestic Abuse Life after a domestic abuse relationship can be hard, slow and depressing especially if your abuser is a woman who you once loved and cherished. As a survivor, you have been made to feel rejected from other relationships so it makes you reluctant to mingle again with people you were once isolated from. You can begin the beautiful journey of rebuilding your life by starting the foundation of being completely healed. Always reconnect your feelings and experience by feeling alive, happy and healthy with dreams of better tomorrow. It will not only strengthen you but open the pathway to healing and freedom. It would create a positive opportunity where you can relate with others. Freedom makes you unique and special. These few tips will help you to overcome the stress and trauma of domestic abuse. 1) Don't isolate yourself by being sad but instead, the first step is for you to reach out and spend time with friends and family. Don't be ashamed or embarrassed to open up to them about it, they can help you grow socially, mentally, and emotionally. Rely on them, don't be shy to talk about your abusive relationship because discussing it makes you feel relieved of keeping the secret. Your family may be your strong pillar now and your friends support too can help you heal. Engaging in fun-filled activities like an outing to an amusement park, visiting a museum or cinema and doing something new and exciting will take your mind entirely off your experience. 2)Healing from domestic violence is not a day's job. It takes times and without giving yourself space from your abuser, the healing process will be slow or even hard. Starting afresh after a domestic abuse require commitment and self-love so focus on yourself on being a better person than before, adjust your lifestyle and give yourself enough time to heal. 3)Getting professional help from a mental health counsellor or professional is another way to survive after being abused. Don't be ashamed to say how you feel, be comfortable to open up. They will guide, counsel and provide you with support and medical advice you want. You can also join support groups of men being abused who can also assist you in your healing journey. 4) Engage in activities that will soothe or calm you when you feel anxious, lonely and scared. If you are depressed about the whole experience, Choose from varieties of calming activities such as listening to cool music, a Jacuzzi bath, massaging, yoga, exercising, writing etc. Engage in anything positive that works to calm your nerves when you feel depressed. 5) In the case where you were prevented from going to work or having your income siezed by your partner, now is the time to get a good job you really enjoy doing, and also start saving all over again. Your new job can take your thoughts off being depressed or negative thoughts such as suicide. 6) In the case where you both have kids tugged, make sure that you are given legal custody for your kids to visit or spend time with you. Even if you are not granted full custody of your kids, don't be disappointed, You won't feel sad about being separated from your bundles of joy because you are always with them. Let every moment with them count by making them feel at home in your new apartment or by going on an exciting vacation for few days and activities like painting or cooking at home with you. Make yourself and kids feel nothing has changed. Understand that being separated from their abusive mother doesn't mean you should bad mouth or talk negative about her to them, instead explain to them that you are keeping in touch with them because you love them and can never neglect them because of their abusive mother behaviour.